Sugar and Spice

Version 1.0 has an unhealthy infatuation with my spice drawer/cupboard. I have to open it on the sly because she will invariably dive right in and wreak havoc. For awhile, she even chose favourites. The front runner was always the Greek seasoning for some unknown reason. She has even been known to rearrange all the bottles according to brand (I guess she can tell they look similar). OCD much?

I digress.

Last night I needed some chili pepper or cumin or some such thing and thought she was distracted enough, so I quickly opened the cupboard, turned to apply said flavouring and turned back. Whew! Made it. I trundled about, begrudgingly happily preparing dinner when I noticed her sneezing continuously from the living room.

Upon further investigation, I found her standing in front of the television, watching the devil’s incarnation a cute kid’s show about bunnies, covered head to toe in ground ginger. Not a word of a lie, yo. Not only was she covered, but there were piles of it all over the TV stand and her little couch, and my new carpet. She had opened and dumped a whole bottle of the stuff for some unknown reason.

At this point in time, she had started rubbing it in her eyes and was crying hysterically as it started to burn. I stripped her out of her Christmas-scented clothing and tried to rinse out her eyes. I think I just made it worse, or maybe there was arsenic in the cloth I used to clean her up with.

I had to vacuum all the friggin stuff up and Version 1.0 is petrified of the vacuum. So, picture this. Dinner burning on the stove, child screaming bloody murder, vacuum on full blast, stupid goddamn bunnies yammering away on the TV and stains everywhere. This. frigging. close. to losing my head.

The worst part of it is that I just KNOW when it comes time for this year’s marathon Christmas baking session, I’m going to be cursing the child’s name when I realize I have forgotten to replace the jar of ginger. Hope you like your currybread house this year, kid!