Then Again, Maybe I Will…

Tonight’s sobering thoughts brought to you by….

• DIY Estate Planning and Will Package,
• recognition of my certain demise (someday),
• laws created for the lowest common denominator,
• my guilt at not doing this sooner, and
• the fact that I can’t drink anything to help the process along.

We spent New Year’s Eve in the company of two other CWK’s (Couples with Kids). Around the dinner table, after munching on leftover Christmas treats, the subject of untimely demise arose and one couple stared at the other two, aghast that they had not yet create a last will and testament. Rightly so, though, don’t get me wrong. I wish I could say that because I quickly tallied up the worth of my hoards of assets and realised it was far too valuable to *not* ensure proper disposition.

No, the part that struck a chord was this couple’s assertion that without a named guardian in the tragic event that both parents are lost together (which I sometimes consider us to be already, but that’s another post), the children will automatically become wards of the court, and the court will appoint a guardian as it sees fit. While I am not sure if this is accurate, and I don’t believe there would be any conflict within our extended families around this, and things would end as they should given the circumstance, I am not interested in leaving that to chance, having seen some of the results of government-appointed custody in my previous career.

So, let the unwashed masses ripple through my leftover goods (or, in legal terms, the ‘residue’ of my estate) and take the hunks of worthless metal that I call my computer, or pilfer my collection of measuring cups (acquired through the careful timing of grocery purchases as each week the store offered a new cup for the set… I think I’m still missing the 1/4 cup measure)… but no one shall determine the safekeeping of my child(ren) except Hubby and I.

Just like the time I was halfway home on my hour-long commute and realised my insurance had expired two weeks before, now that I know my “insurance” is not in place for my end of life plans, I feel a sense of urgency and foreboding every minute that we don’t have a signed, official document in place stating our wishes. This is not a quick process, either. I like my life convenient and with results. I don’t like to have to wait when I need to get that gnawing pit out of my stomach. But, I have to create an estate plan first. Then I have to create the correct documents, in proper form. Then I have to have witnesses review and sign in order to make it official. I also have to somehow prove they are real and not just the cat’s well-inked paw.

I just want it to be done and over with, so I can rest assured Version 1.0 will be well taken care of when Hubby and I mysteriously disappear in our sleep.

In all seriousness, I can barely handle the thought of leaving her alone. OK, I can’t handle it at all. Dear reader, I legally and bindingly declare here and now that if we expire tonight on our way to bed, we would like our child to be taken care of by our nearby family, and not Max and Ruby, as my child would prefer (they live in mayhem without direction or guidance… definitely not an environment we support).

Now, please sign here and make this thing official.

I feel so much better.

I still need a drink.